Feel undervalued? Here's How To Tell Your Partner?

Happy Valentine’s day, AWJP fam! Juancho is back here and we’re answering some of your burning questions about love, relationships, and everything in between that you’ve sent on Instagram. Whatever status you are in your love life, we’ve got you covered.

Do you find communication in a relationship easy? When does it begin to become difficult?

I think it only gets hard when you kind of focus on your own thing. Try to understand and empathize your partner, your spouse, then it becomes easy.

What a general relationship needs is that we have Christ in the middle.Because if we don't have God in the middle, it would be impossible for us to reconcile. God is our referee all the time. And we say that with all reverence.Most of the time, by the grace of God alone, we get reconciled.

How do you tell the person that you love that you feel undervalued?

1) Choose the right time and place

Find a moment when both of you are relaxed and have time to talk without distractions. It's important to create a safe and comfortable environment for this conversation.

Do it in sandwich method:

2) Positive statement

Begin the conversation by highlighting something positive or expressing your love and appreciation for the person. This helps set a positive tone and shows that you value the relationship. For example, you could say, "I want to start by saying how much I love you and how grateful I am for our relationship. You bring so much joy into my life, and I appreciate all the love and support you give me."

3) Concern statement

This is where you address the issue of feeling undervalued. Be specific about the instances or situations that have caused you to feel this way. Use "I" statements to express your feelings without blaming or criticizing. For example, say, "Lately, I've noticed that there have been times when I've felt undervalued. It hurts when I don't feel acknowledged or appreciated for my efforts or contributions. I wanted to talk to you about this because our relationship is important to me, and I believe open communication is crucial."

4) Positive statement / Solution-oriented approach

After expressing your concern, end the conversation by focusing on positive aspects or offering potential solutions. This helps to maintain a constructive and hopeful atmosphere. For example, you could say, "I believe in our love, and I know we can work through this together. I think it would be helpful if we could find ways to better communicate our appreciation for each other. Maybe we could create a habit of expressing gratitude or plan quality time together to show how much we value each other. What do you think?"

Work towards a solution: Once you have expressed your feelings and needs, discuss potential solutions together. Brainstorm ways to improve the situation and find compromises that honor both parties' feelings.