Traditional vs Gentle Parenting
Are you tired of hearing only one side of the story? Join us on this newest segment of the podcast as we bring together two guests with different perspectives to share their views and find common ground.
What is traditional parenting? How about modern parenting?
Traditional Filipino parenting underscores respect for authority, with children expected to unquestionably obey their parents and older family members. Discipline is often enforced through strict rules or corporal punishment, emphasizing the importance of obedience and adherence to cultural norms. Family and community play central roles in traditional parenting, with extended family members providing support and guidance. Gender roles are often reinforced, with distinct expectations for boys and girls, and academic achievement is highly valued, viewed as a pathway to success and social mobility.
In contrast, modern Filipino parenting is characterized by a more democratic and child-centered approach, prioritizing open communication, mutual respect, and emotional well-being. Parents recognize the importance of nurturing their children's emotional intelligence and mental health, creating supportive environments where children feel empowered to express themselves. Modern parents also adapt to the influence of technology, establishing boundaries around screen time while leveraging digital resources for educational purposes. They encourage independence, critical thinking, and inclusivity, fostering environments where children can explore their interests and embrace diversity.
Methods of Discipline
Traditional parenting:
1) Corporal Punishment
Physical discipline such as spanking or slapping is commonly used in traditional parenting to correct misbehavior or enforce obedience.
2) Strict Rules and Structure
Traditional parents typically enforce strict rules and routines to maintain order and discipline within the family.
3) Withdrawal of Affection
In some cases, traditional parents may use the withdrawal of affection or emotional support as a form of discipline, withholding love or praise until the child complies with expectations.
Modern parenting:
1) Positive Reinforcement
Modern parents emphasize positive reinforcement to encourage desired behaviors, using praise, rewards, or privileges to reinforce good conduct.
2) Logical Consequences
Instead of punitive measures, modern parents often employ logical consequences that are directly related to the child's behavior, helping them understand the consequences of their actions.
3) Communication and Explanation
Modern parents prioritize open communication and explanation, discussing the reasons behind rules and boundaries with their children to foster understanding and cooperation.
Pros and Cons
Pros of Traditional Parenting:
1) Clear Structure and Discipline
Traditional parenting provides clear rules and structure, which can help children understand expectations and boundaries.
2) Respect for Authority
Children raised in traditional households often learn to respect authority figures and adhere to societal norms and traditions.
Cons of Traditional Parenting:
1) Risk of Harsh Discipline
Traditional parenting may rely on harsh discipline methods such as corporal punishment, which can lead to negative outcomes such as fear, resentment, and aggression in children.
2) Emotional Distance
Traditional parenting may prioritize obedience over emotional connection, leading to emotional distance between parents and children.
Pros of Modern Parenting:
1) Emphasis on Communication and Understanding
Modern parenting focuses on open communication and understanding, fostering strong parent-child relationships based on empathy and mutual respect.
2) Adaptability to Change
Modern parenting is more adaptable to changing societal norms and values, allowing parents to adjust their approach based on individual needs and circumstances.
Cons of Modern Parenting:
1) Risk of Overindulgenc
Modern parenting may lead to overindulgence or permissiveness, as parents prioritize their children's happiness and well-being sometimes at the expense of setting firm boundaries.
2) Failure to Set Limits
Parents may struggle to set limits or enforce consequences effectively, leading to challenges in managing behavior and fostering self-discipline.
Which parenting style should we use?
The most effective parenting style for kids nowadays is one that combines elements of both traditional and modern approaches, tailored to the individual needs of the child and family dynamics. This balanced approach acknowledges the benefits of structure, discipline, and respect for authority inherent in traditional parenting, while also embracing the importance of open communication, empathy, and autonomy promoted by modern parenting.
The goal of parenting is to nurture and support children in becoming responsible, compassionate, and well-rounded individuals capable of thriving in the world.
From Episode 4 of Adulting with Joyce Pring: “Traditional vs Gentle Parenting Common Ground Ep. 4”