Turning 30: Things I Learned in my 20s
The Big 3-0 is here! As I turn 30, here’s a gift for my AWJP fam. Join me as I reflect on the biggest takeaways from my colorful 20s and share the most important things I learned during a decade of growth and change.
Photo from Instagram: Joyce Pring
Dreams and goals in my 20’s that weren't fulfilled
I always had the thought of being a writer and a painter. I mean, I loved performing, but always as an artist. And I never thought that I would be somebody who was a bit more on the commercial side of things. And I still grieve that to this day but that was actually a conscious decision.
Greatest lesson I’ve learned the hard way
Money doesn't come easy and you shouldn’t be spontaneous about it. I was once a spontaneous spender.
Dating for fun is no fun at all. I did a lot of dating for fun when I was in my twenties and boy, did I hurt my heart, my soul and my head so much because of those decisions and I know, I did the same thing to those people. I wish I didn't hurt that much people. I wish I just waited until I met Juancho, until I was ready to get married.
I did invest a lot in my 20s but I didn’t invest as much as I should have.
Regrets not knowing God in my early years?
God spoke to me or God saved me at an early age because I did grow up in church.
But I would say that I really only did the strict and honest decision of taking my faith seriously when I was 23. I do kind of regret not being serious early on because I went through so much heartache and I hurt the heart of God so much because of sin and disobedience since I didn't take my faith seriously so early on. But I do believe that God is sovereign and everything happens so I can be where I am and who I am right now.
Worst part of my 20s personality that I gladly changed?
I was such a cringe person. My confidence level was through the roof and I was a serial dater before. It's horrible.
I hated that I was such a toxic person, to be honest. I really needed therapy. I had a lot of healing that I should have gone to therapy for. But therapy was not the concept that I was aware of until I was 24. I had always had depression and anxiety and these manic episodes, but I had no idea that you can go to therapy for that.
One life-altering decision I made in my 20s
I decided to invest in myself. I went to school, I enrolled myself in lessons, I traveled a lot. All of my money I spent. Not on material things, not on fancy things. I really spent the money that I made by working hard on educating myself. I bought the books, I bought the podcasts, the audiobooks, I bought the materials, I bought the lessons. I traveled. And I did all of these things because I knew that if there was one thing that I could do for myself in my twenties that would change my life forever… It's that I should educate myself.
It's important to be the kind of person that just isn't stuck in who they were and where they came from. I wanted to be somebody who was willing to get out of their comfort zone and see the world in different perspectives.
So if you are in your 20s, that's the best thing that you can do for yourself…
Biggest Takeaway in my 20s
1) Faith and your worldview
We live now in a culture that does not believe that it's important to have faith, to have religion, to have tradition, because everything is all about whatever goes, whatever you feel. But let me tell you, if that's the kind of worldview that you have, it's going to ruin you, it's going to hurt you, and it's going to leave you breathless, confused, and just constantly in a state of haze because you don’t have any basis of morality.
Those questions of meaning, morality, destination, origin, purpose, all those things are answered by the one true God.
2) Having healthy relationships
Having healthy relationships with people that have your best interest in mind and people that you love and want to serve as well.
That means finding a good church community.
That means finding a good friend group.
That means finding a good group of girlfriends that will help you, that will call you out when you're being wrong, that will encourage you when you're in a difficult season of your life that will really be there for you.
3) Constantly push yourself
Constantly push yourself in situations, places, and circumstances where you're uncomfortable but you're learning something.
Because if you're uncomfortable and there's no point to it, then that's useless. But if you're uncomfortable and you're learning something and you feel like you're becoming a better person for it (like when you're traveling, when you're doing something for the first time, when you're learning from someone who's way smarter than you, that makes you feel stupid), all those crazy things, that's where you should be putting yourself in.
You don't have to have it all figured out. You just have to take it one step at a time.
You don't have to have it all figured out, not just as the cliche, but you have to have at least a few foundational things figured out.
My life is honestly a testament of God’s goodness, grace and mercy. If not for the grace of God, I would be dead. And if it had not been for God putting me in situations that forced me to be better, that helped me to be better, that guided me to be better, then I wouldn't be here today. And I'm so grateful for it.
“Be the person who is willing to get out of their comfort zone and see the world from a different perspective.”
From Episode 190 of Adulting with Joyce Pring: “Turning 30: Things I Learned in my 20s”